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      10-20-2020, 12:05 PM   #31
rebekahb
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Drives: 2020 X5 M50i
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: New Orleans, LA

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Quote:
Originally Posted by D_o_S View Post
Thank you all for your inputs.

I have discussed with her before - on several occasions. And I am not one to "give up" on people. As I said, I let her drive "once" (I did not know what more I could do, and it seemed wise to have a "demonstration" of how to drive, in order to learn and understand better), and gained from that experience.

She never mentioned that she would feel scared (but has been tense non-verbally, i.e. silent)... rather, that she feels uncomfortable.

All in all, I do not think communication would be our trouble - or perhaps, communication on two levels:
- drive differently - we can talk about this, I can gather from it, adjust, etc.
- "communicate about communicating" - I do not know if it's wise to even go there? I mean, if she says:
--- "I wonder how this sat nav chooses its route" - should I say "Which route shall I take" or "Well, this is the fastest route"
--- "You're taking us all around the city" - should I say "I'll choose the more direct route next time"
--- "This way is rather twisty" - I'll take the straight route next time...


ETC.?

I do however think that after all of our drives, when the opportunity arises next time, I will tell her I don't feel that she trusts me behind the wheel, and that I feel that it's in her head?

Any further input welcome...

Thank you!
I don't like this approach. Basically, this is you caving into everything that she wants that will make her happy. It should be a compromise. Also, I believe it's something more than the driving she's aggravated with but she's using that as a protected route to nag at you. I say this from a woman's perspective and I know when I'm pissed about something and haven't told my husband I'm more likely to nit pick. I'm also a pretty aggressive driver at times and he's more laid back so there are times when I wish he would drive like he's going somewhere but I just take a deep breath and look out the window. Some things just aren't worth the battle.
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