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Hey, I have a pretty funny cop story, but it doesn't involve a dildo.
I became an ocean lifeguard just weeks after turning 15, in June '71. I was 6' tall, about 175, and not ugly. I could get into the bars.
Fire Island in those years was maxed out on sex, drugs, & rock & roll. I had a blond 16 yr old stunner girlfriend by July. She was on the pill!
But since I was living with my fundamentalist Catholic grandparents, I had a 10p curfew.
I didn't want to upset Granny & Gramps & blow a good setup, but one night came home at midnight. Gramps said, "Call the police!" I thought I was done for.
But they had already had called the police at 11p because I wasn't home. This call was to stop the search!
The next morn in the lifeguard shack, the cop we had on weekends said, "Murf, what was that all about?" I said, "Well, they are very strict with me, and see that girl over there in the bikini...?"
The cop said, "Damn, Murf. Don't you have a window you can clime out of?"
My life was so much better after that conversation.
Murf
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