Look
P1et this seems perfectly simple to me based on your criteria.
As big or bigger than X5: check
Haul Kids/pets, put hitch on back: check
Off-road capabilities: check
Peace of mind maintenance: check
Good re-sale: check
The answer is the Toyota 4Runner. Go to toyota-4runner.org and check out the classifieds. A gen 5 (2009 - present) would suit your bill.
I have a Gen4 and while it's plenty of room, the Gen5 is bigger and has better creature comforts and would be great for your family.
Throw some bigger tires on and you have quite the pavement stomper too. Although it won't be as nimble as the X5.
EDIT: Oddly enough I didn't read ANY of the member suggestions until now........I'm glad to see I'm not the only one recommending a 4Runner. They are awesome for a reason!