OP, you sound a lot like myself and others on here. Being a Type A personality is no joke. Others see us as successful, well put together, determined, focused, etc. What they fail to understand is the amount of forethought and stress that goes into our every move; not to mention the ever present lurking fear of failure. Growing up, being raised by only one parent, my father, who was basically a drill sergeant in every aspect of life; perfection of all things was instilled into me at a very early age. Failure was not an option. If any one thing was not done to 110% it was done over and over again until success was achieved. To be honest, I still hold myself to this standard for the same reason you do....fear and the overall appearance of being successful.
I will say that your success, based off your initial post, and mine vary; but we are very similar in mindset. It took me years to overcome the fear of failure, now I embrace it as it comes with being human. We will never achieve perfection, but we must come to find peace and acceptance in doing the best that we can. We all have goals, but no one has ever set forth the time frame in which it takes to achieve said goals. As long as progress is made, you need to learn to find comfort in that progress. Sometimes the progression is quick, sometimes it isn't.
I suggest picking up a copy of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. (
https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-No...ps%2C-1&sr=8-1) It helped me tremendously in adapting to a mindset that allows me a little more peace of mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a Type A personality, go go go and 100 mph from the moment my eyes open, until 20 hours later when my head hits the pillow; but mentally being able to cope with failure is paradoxical for people like us. Failure will teach you what you have done wrong, so you know better next time. My only suggestion is that when you fail, do it again until you kick it's (whatever "it" is) ass, make it your bitch and then move on to the next thing. Don't forget to reward yourself when milestones are reached.
I hope my caffeine fueled ramblings have helped to some degree. You've received some very good advice from everyone above....aside from that WestRace guy, just ignore his ass. Keep winning sir and cut yourself some slack. You can only be successful if you'll allow yourself some peace, then sit back and appreciate all that you have accomplished.
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Originally Posted by upstatedoc
inb4
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Right??? I don't get on here nearly as often as I did before, but this guy is getting really close to the ignore button. Absolutely no value in anything he posts and the lols make me want to punch myself in the face. Highly predictable to the point where I will receive a "lols" response for this post. Hands down, a poster child for lack of understanding in how oneself is perceived by others.
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Originally Posted by cmyx6go
I know, so uncalled for. At least no lols.
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Agreed.