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Originally Posted by JasonCSU
Wow, that just seems unreal, but I don't know the circumstances behind the divorce. I've heard a couple of divorce horror stories through people I've worked with where the wife was the one cheating, yet somehow still ended up getting everything out of the settlement. I don't understand how a situation like that works out.
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In the UK it is always a no fault divorce : divorce here rarely goes to court. House / finances / kids are typically settled pre-court. No heed is given to fault. My wife had a very large percentage of our house sale and I also pay maintenance to her for our children - who spend around 75% of year with her / 25% with me. I pay no maintenance "for her" though - due to the large capital settlement at divorce, so when my kids reach 18, the "child maintenance" piece will end. Around 30% to 35% of my net goes to my ex-wife in child maintenance.
The UK law looks to protect the best interests of the children, as ultimately, they are the ones who suffer the greatest when their parents divorce.
I'm fortunate that my kids seem to have come through the process relatively unscathed. They are well balanced kids.
Like a lot of life changing events: no matter what the financial costs, the human / emotional costs are the ones to be avoided, or managed as well as they feasibly can.
Also, you can't go backwards, so even if you do get screwed over financially, it is best to focus on the future and things that you can control, rather than bad things that have happened. Bitterness will just eat away at you, and that effects your psyche and general well being.
Financial settlement is only one part of the picture.