Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups
I lasted two minutes. If the rest is this quality, and he is the nice guy, I would stay the fuck away from his boring ass.
Jeez what a whiner.
|
No kidding.
For years I played the "nice guy" role and couldn't figure out why I kept getting "friend zoned" nearly immediately. Finally I figured it out; "nice guys" desire to please a woman makes him appear indecisive, a non-leader, a push-over. While some women look for guys they can push around, most (in my experience) wants a guy who knows how to make a decision, knows how to be a leader.
If you're going on a first date with a woman, you better have a plan; know where you're taking her (plus a couple of alternates if it turns out she absolutely abhors the 1st place you have in mind). Even later in the relationship don't get stuck in the "where do you want to go for dinner" "I don't know what do you want" "I don't know what do you want" conversation: get her input ("are you in the mood for anything in particular") then choose. This is probably even more true for women who are "bosses" where they work: they spend all day making decisions, they don't want to have to make decisions at home. For important decisions (e.g. buying a new car) value her opinion as much as your own, but in the end realize, take ownership of and accept the responsibilities and consequences of making the decision and then decide.
Popular media is doing the current (and future generations) a huge disservice. Portraying men as weak, foolish and/or childish while the woman of the house is the real leader (Simpsons, Home Improvement, King of Queens, Everyone Loves Raymond, plus most other "family" sitcoms are great examples). This goes against design (if you believe in a Creator) or against thousands of years of Evolution (if you believe in random chance). Bottom line is (up until the last few decades at least): women seek out men who can/will protect them. Nice guys don't appear to be capable of playing the protector role. Magazines and other sources of entertainment aren't any better; society appears to be trying to change gender roles that have been programmed in for thousands of years and the only thing they've succeeded at is making the current and next generation confused and frustrated.
Another thing nice guys do is they appear to have lower standards. A guy who will go on a second date with anyone because they don't want to come off as an a**hole will also appear to be desperate (or the type of guy who will try to get into the pants of any girl he meets). Nice guys need to learn having standards and standing by those standards doesn't make them an a**hole; it makes them more desirable.
Bottom line is: you can be a nice guy, but be a MAN first.