Quote:
Originally Posted by sygazelle
As a person happily married for many years I will offer another point of view:
Marriage is not for everybody. I get that. If the OP feels this way he should certainly consider not getting married.
For us, a successful marriage meant buying into the whole concept of marriage and the vows that we shared.
We agreed when we had kids that my wife would stay home with the kids until they got through school. I was lucky enough to have a career where we could afford to do that. But even though I was the "breadwinner", I never once thought of our assets as my money. Without my wife's support, I never would have finished college or grad school. Without her taking care of the home front, I never could have had the time to focus on my career and earn what I earned over the years. I was still very involved at home and with the kids, but my wife stepped up and took care of things so I could concentrate on my career.
We have had a great life and a great relationship. Our two kids are raised and through college and between them they have 6 kids (our grand kids). To me, our situation is priceless. So to answer the OP's question, I would get married nowadays in a heartbeat if I had to do it over again.
Back to the point of the $3.5 million per year that Dr. Dre's wife gets in the settlement: That's NOT his money that he is giving her. That's THEIR money that they chose to settle on as an annual payment out of their marriage assets. This notion that no pussy is worth $300k per month is not quite accurate since it was her money too according to the law.
I have no idea if Dr. Dre's career would have flourished the way that it did without his wife by his side all of these years. You'd have to ask him that. But, the $3.5 million per year is only 1/3 of one percent of his assets. To put that into perspective, if a regular guy with $500,000 in assets gets divorced, this settlement would equal only $1,750 per year to the wife. I think most guys would be very happy with such a settlement.
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Your situation is what the ideal marriage would be. So I'm happy for you and others that have this situation. But to put out the counterpoint to an ideal marriage and how things can go horribly wrong, here's what I went through.
Got married. Agreed that the wife would stay home after she gave birth to our daughter. That's where everything went downhill. I tried to help with all the baby duties but was met with verbal abuse and hostility. Everything she did was right and everything I did was wrong. She was studying for her nursing degree which I was funding 100%. She drove herself nuts studying and taking care of our daughter even though I tried to help. This led to further tension in our marriage. Eventually, she started to go hang out with her friends to the point where it was a regular weekly occurrence. She took our daughter and left our daughter with her mother to take care of when she was out clubbing. This was the start of the alienation between my daughter and myself. I got cancer for the second time during the marriage which I had to deal with by myself. She stopped going to the appointments and I had complications from the surgery which again I dealt with by myself. I kept paying the bills and even when I went out to shop for groceries, I would get things she needed. But I had to cook my own meals, do my own laundry, and do all the maintenance around the house.
Fast forward to the divorce which I initiated because I got tired of the whole situation. I wanted 50/50 custody of our daughter. The wife refused. Was advised by my lawyer that would be a long shot. Even if I tried, I would have put myself into financial ruin as the way the family laws are written, I had to pay for the wife's attorney's fees in addition to mine. So she knew she can wait me out. She ran off with a good chunk of my assets where she's been set up nice and pretty with a fully paid off car, a new career in nursing, a townhouse, and a good start with her retirement account. All courtesy of me. Yes, during the marriage my income is considered 50/50. But I can honestly say that she contributed zero to me earning that money.
BTW, the marriage on paper was only about 6 years. The only saving grace was that I only had to pay alimony for 6 months post divorce. But I did pay about a year and half of it during the separation along with child support.
Until family law changes where it doesn't give all the benefit and incentive to the woman in a divorce, I don't know why any male would consider marriage.