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Guys I'm not that special. I'm just a man who happened to be at the right place at the right time to have been taught the right things by the right people.
And please don't confuse my message with misogyny.
Think of me as Prometheus.
I've been there I've don that and I may even have the T shirt.
So I'm having my morning tea and let's recap shall we?
1) Women are bat shit crazy and have no freaking clue what they want in a man.
2) You are a dumb ass thinking rocking the all black look makes you stand out in a crowded bar.
3) Women will fuck each other every chance they get for no apparent reason other than it makes them feel superior.
Today we are going to talk about wing men, women and other.
It takes massive cock and balls to be a lone wolf in the world. No man is an island and no dick can exist without balls. So going out meeting women should not be a solo event. The ladies call the lone wolves in the bar "creepy" and may be confused with stalkers.
So let's pick your wing buddy.
Here is a good list of wing buddies; your brother, your cousin, your well to do friend, your not so well to do friend or your chubby chaser friend and let's not forget that odd Asian / East Asian friend who is really awkward around women and rocks skinny jeans and watches anime.
Here is a list of great wing buddies; me, your best female friend, your female cousin, your gay brother, your brothers gay friend, your gay cousin, your friend who can start a conversation with any one at any place.
Here is how it works, remember the part about women wanting to kill each other for no apparent reason? Well you need a wing man because the engine of this hate is the fat bitch who can't get a hot beef injection if her life depended on it! And what do fat chicks like more than a hot beef injection or an all you can eat challenge? Gay guys! Yeah! The fatties love the ****!
And so should you!
You see my good men, in this world there are three things that the ladies love.
1) Men who dress well.
2) Men who are loving and caring and understanding.
3) Men who their fat fucking friends like.
So you want to dress well, bitch you better not be looking at those skinny jeans and thinking you are a hipster! You will need someone to dress your sorry ass. In walks your gay friend who knows just what to rock all the time. See unlike us straight guys who spend a good 99.999999999% of our time getting laid gay guys only spend 1% of their time getting laid. For them it's easy "Hi I'm horny and you are cute, let's go out on a date and have fun." Yeah don't you wish women were this straight forward! Sadly unless you are willing to go gay you have to deal with that fucked up brain attached to vagina. So use your gay friends closet to look good!
Note #1
Next thing your gay friend has that your straight friend does not is a plethora of *** hags and fruit flies. *** hangs and fruit flies are gods gift to man after he gave us the ability to piss standing up and looking better with age. You see *** hags hang out with gay guys thinking that maybe just maybe one will reconsider his love of dick. See what did I tell you the bitches are crazy and are always trying to change men...more on this later. That said *** hags love guys who are friends with their gay male friends! And you my good friend are a well read well educated well dressed open minded guy.
Note #2 bitches!
Now the token fat chick is like the token Latino/African American/Gang Banger poet found in every single freaking movie about the inner city. Why do we have them? I don't freaking know! Maybe it's because it makes the others look better? Who know? But what I do know is that cute girls love their token fat chick because nothing makes a girl look better in any item of clothing like her fat friend! But there is a catch. Her fat friend has a mouth. And with that mouth she does nothing but talk and bitch nonstop! And then she starts drinking and become a fat sloppy drunk screaming at you about how much she hates you because you are hitting on her hot friend and not fucking her. And who wants to fuck a fat chick? Don't look at me! But your gay friend...well he can keep her talking about shit no one cares about while you talk to the cute one! And eventually the fat chick will love you and your gay friend!
Note #3
As for a wing woman? Yeah good luck with that. Though it sounds like a good idea and it can work odds are the chick will get drunk and you will have to carry her home or at the bar the other ladies will think you two are a couple. Only way a wing chick works is if you are in a group of them...aka wing chicks!
So to recap, don't go to a bar dressed in camo, stand out even if it is a bright white button up shirt and choose your wing man/woman wisely.
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