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Originally Posted by King Rudi
Great advice, thank you. I talked to friend of mine (a female) who is on several dating sites. She showed me the men in this area that are on those dating sites, their profiles and the messages they send. Hard pass. I'm not about to be classified as one of those guys. I suppose the demographic of the guys that use those websites are different in each area, but I feel like I have higher standards than those guys....the one's in this area at least.
I'm honestly still sideways over the whole break up. It's hard for me to walk away from someone I know that cares about me; but there are times that how you feel about someone isn't enough. I have a lot of work to do on myself. I've been complacent for a couple of years now and recognize opportunities in myself that I need to work on. Much of the things that the girlfriend expressed her disdain with, hit home and she isn't wrong. I'm just going to focus on making myself a better person, the gym and get some work done on the house. I'm an artist and a creative type, I have several projects at home I've wanted to complete for years. All this, accompanied with my work load at the moment, will keep me occupied and give me the sense of accomplishment that I need to keep my motivated.
Gotta get my mind back on track financially and work toward.....whatever the hell it is decide to do in the next few years. I may put some money in the home, build up some equity, sell it and completely relocate and start over.
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The problem with the dating site guys is they actually make things more difficult for genuine people like us because women come to expect that behavior as the norm, and automatically put up a wall. Can't say I blame them when you get a constant flow of dick pics and cat calls all day.
The whole thing about walking away from someone who cares... it's tough but if they really cared about you would they treat you the way they did? To me, actions always mean more than words. It's like someone on my team claiming they are a hard worker, yet the work they do reflects the opposite. I don't know your whole situation, but from the bits and pieces I've read it was sudden, and we all know that changes in relationships aren't usually sudden, but progressive (or regressive) over time. If she felt a certain way towards you but did not communicate that to you until it was way too late, and you found out in a hurtful manner, well that is not someone who truly cares about you and your wellbeing.