[F30lolz]

Back in my bad days of 2003-2004 the only stupidest thing I did to get laid was to get laid by unattractive girls. I got out of a 5 year relationship so I banged whatever I could get my hands on, attractive and unattractive. Pants barely stayed on.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Naz24

ok, i think its time i play. although this isnt really about me getting laid, its more about me getting rid of psycho lady.... Let's call her Cauliflower, because all she did was cook with cauliflower, I swear, she made mashed cauliflower, cauliflower roasted chicken, cauliflower dessert. it was all too much.


I dated this girl one summer, (she rode horses, do not date girls who ride horses, sorry Lups if you ride... ). Anyway, i was in college, she went to UMiami, i went to Cornell. I was very lukewarm on her anyway, so it didnt matter much that the end of the summer was approaching quickly and i had no plans to stay together (hell, who wants a 1,400 mile relationship with a girl who only eats cauliflower)

At the end of the summer, i decided to end it. Cauliflower did not like this. She did not get the hint, and began sending me care packages up to cornell (which i truly didn't mind); but what i did mind were the 25 calls/texts/snapchats/etc in a row. I had to finally get rid of Cauliflower.

Enter my best friend. He was ripped, sang opera, and a scratch golfer with a pretty nice trust fund. EVERY GIRLS DREAM! So one day, i let him answer the phone when cauliflower calls. They get to talking--two hours later he reappears. "hey, that girl is pretty nice, i bet she's good in bed, too". My evil plan was beginning to work!

a week later, my friend comes to me and says these exact words, "i hope you dont mind, but cauliflower bought me two tickets down to florida to visit her next weekend"

FUCK. YES. Such an easy out for me.

So my friend goes down to florida, visits cauliflower, comes back, realizes shes is bat shit crazy (she stole a pair of his jeans so he 'had to' go back and visit her again). Of course he never visited her again. But he did mention watching cops, while eating cauliflower, while cauliflower eats his....

So my friend and i both benefit immensely. I never had to talk to her again, and i successfully pawned my friend off to a psycho cauliflower nut

Oh god you're as bad as mixer sixer and me. Horses are cool on and off the plate but nobody should be horny enough to go for a cauliflower eater.

Originally Posted by Axius

You're missing out, breh. Especially the pic that went around of her huge ballsack. Epic.

I'd vote for ya! I could be your Lewinsky!

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Well then....

My condolences to Biorin and F87LUV - I guess you know where you stand in Lups' estimate.

Is it the facial hair that's turning you off Lupsie?

Lib reminds me of my aunt, she also had an epic moustache.

Meh, Biorin is too cool to be mentioned with the common folks and I didn't know there were other women around.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Lups

Lib reminds me of my aunt, she also had an epic moustache.

Meh, Biorin is too cool to be mentioned with the common folks and I didn't know there were other women around.

Haha. Amazing attempt at a rescue. I emphasize attempt because you just labeled Sara and Tara as the common folks with whom Biorin is too cool to be mentioned. I know what you were trying to do, but this was an awesome colossal fail!

[Axius]

My vote is for Biorin, MKSixer, and C5driver as the cutest chicks on the forum.

[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Well then....

My condolences to Biorin and F87LUV - I guess you know where you stand in Lups' estimate.

And the point of mentioning me was....? I'll brb, gotta go cry in the bathroom.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Haha. Amazing attempt at a rescue. I emphasize attempt because you just labeled Sara and Tara as the common folks with whom Biorin is too cool to be mentioned. I know what you were trying to do, but this was an awesome colossal fail!

She meant cool like cold, because Finland is cold, and I'm cold, and she just didn't want Tara and Sara to get chilly in my presence... uhh... that's all I got.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Axius

You're missing out, breh. Especially the pic that went around of her huge ballsack. Epic.

THAT, was the stuff. (That should never be seen again.)

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by Axius

My vote is for Biorin, MKSixer, and C5driver as the cutest chicks on the forum.

@C5driver takes the cake. No one can resist a leggy blonde with feet like skis.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Biorin

@C5driver takes the cake. No one can resist a leggy blonde with feet like skis.

Truth... Belgium would melt like a puddle whenever C5 posted...

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Lups

I'd vote for ya! I could be your Lewinsky!

You can be my Bonnie and I will be your Clyde.

Originally Posted by MKSixer

THAT, was the stuff. (That should never be seen again.)

I was pretty impressed, the manicuring skills were definitely professional. The subtle creases along the nut cleavage was something to adore. Lups has some very defined balls of steel.

Originally Posted by shoei

Truth... Belgium would melt like a puddle whenever C5 posted...

I wonder what C5 is doing these days, probably being a sexy cheeky blonde running around in yoga pants and sports bras on the California coast.

[fravel]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Earned my red wings near the Palisades Mall -,-

You can ride the red river, just don't drink the water.

As for the stupidest thing I've done? I was in Orlando for a paintball tournament before I was old enough to rent a car. Borrowed my buddies diesel F-350 to drive up to Jacksonville and spend the night with an old flame after we got knocked out of the event. All told I drove about 6 hours round-trip and spent a solid $300 in fuel - didn't get laid.

EDIT: I'll include that Karma got her. Girl started seeing some dude after that who completely took advantage of her (moved in with her but never contributed, etc.), got her pregnant, then when he left he told her the only reason he even dated her to begin with was because she lived close to the beach (he was a surfer). She got fat and had to move back home... ohhh well.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by F87LUV

And the point of mentioning me was....? I'll brb, gotta go cry in the bathroom.

so you can post a pic of yourself duhhh

[Lups]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Haha. Amazing attempt at a rescue. I emphasize attempt because you just labeled Sara and Tara as the common folks with whom Biorin is too cool to be mentioned. I know what you were trying to do, but this was an awesome colossal fail!

Or was it? Maybe I'm that much of a bitch...

[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

so you can post a pic of yourself duhhh

You already know what I look like, foo'.

And definitely not happening!!

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Lups

Or was it? Maybe I'm that much of a bitch...

Yet another truth...

Wait, does everybody know by now or is it still a secret??!

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by F87LUV

You already know what I look like, foo'.

And definitely not happening!!

what is foo

of course i know

[shoei]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

what is foo

of course i know

Everybody knows... you ain't special, don't worry...

[Axius]

First time I met this chick she lived in a trailer that had a sheet as the front door so we went for a drive and got real uncomfortable in the back seat of an RSX, did the nasty, then dropped her off at her classy establishment.


Mind you it was 2am and she lived an hour away on top of it....,



Then there was stinky vag Charice....,

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by shoei

Everybody knows... you ain't special, don't worry...

[shoei]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

u talkin to me???

Anyone else read that in De Niro's voice?

[nyalpine90]