BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
BIMMERPOST Universal Forums Off-Topic Discussions Board Limericks

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      10-11-2019, 06:20 PM   #1
2000cs
Captain
3444
Rep
1,004
Posts

Drives: Potato
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA

iTrader: (1)

Limericks

I thought it a neat little trick
A thread for only the limerick
Post one you’ve heard
Or offer your own word
Non-limerick form? You’re a dick!
Appreciate 1
Run Silent15127.00
      10-14-2019, 07:55 AM   #2
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13152
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

There once was a knight name Lancelot
who took his dick out of his pants a lot
He found a wo-man
and with his dick in his hand
said wham bam thanks a lot.
Appreciate 4
Run Silent15127.00
2000cs3443.50
Rmtt8206.00
      10-14-2019, 07:56 AM   #3
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7556
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

this thread is going well
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      10-14-2019, 08:34 AM   #4
Run Silent
Run Deep
Run Silent's Avatar
United_States
15127
Rep
4,123
Posts

Drives: Back and Forth To Work
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: The Mountains

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
There once was a man named Cass.
He had to big balls of brass.
And in stormy weather,
They clung together,
And lightening shot out of his ass.
__________________
Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
Appreciate 5
King Rudi13152.00
2000cs3443.50
Rmtt8206.00
xander_g962.50
      10-14-2019, 10:03 AM   #5
silverseal99
Enlisted Member
32
Rep
41
Posts

Drives: 2011 335d 335d Sport
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
There once was a lovely young lass,
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not as pretty and pink (as you might think)
But was gray, had long ears and ate grass.
Appreciate 8
Run Silent15127.00
vreihen1614882.00
King Rudi13152.00
2000cs3443.50
MKSixer34171.50
Rmtt8206.00
xander_g962.50
      10-20-2019, 01:02 PM   #6
RKM
New Member
31
Rep
14
Posts

Drives: 2005 Z4 3.0i
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: CA

iTrader: (0)

There once was a man from Boston
Who bought himself an Austin
There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em
Appreciate 1
2000cs3443.50
      10-20-2019, 01:40 PM   #7
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
Ukraine
14882
Rep
938
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i3 BEV
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
It’s risky to drive while you eat,
Most especially pasta with meat:
Slurping red sauce is rash—
You might very well crash
And leave evidence trails head to feet.
__________________
2015 BMW i3 BEV, Giga World (Lodge interior), Tech/Driving Assist Packages, 30K miles
Appreciate 1
2000cs3443.50
      10-20-2019, 01:42 PM   #8
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
Ukraine
14882
Rep
938
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i3 BEV
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
There once was a driver named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
__________________
2015 BMW i3 BEV, Giga World (Lodge interior), Tech/Driving Assist Packages, 30K miles
Appreciate 4
2000cs3443.50
Rmtt8206.00
xander_g962.50
      10-22-2019, 07:52 PM   #9
MKSixer
Lieutenant General
MKSixer's Avatar
34172
Rep
11,637
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i8, E63 M6, 328d
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southeast United States

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 M4 GTS (Allotted)  [0.00]
2013 BMW 328d  [0.00]
2007 BMW M6  [10.00]
2015 BMW i8  [10.00]
There once was a man from Nantucket








__________________
Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion.
Appreciate 3
Rmtt8206.00
King Rudi13152.00
      10-22-2019, 09:26 PM   #10
SchillerM
First Lieutenant
90
Rep
333
Posts

Drives: 11' 550i, '00 M5, '11 E90 335i
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Vancouver, WA

iTrader: (0)

https://i.redd.it/4a3014dyulez.png
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2019, 10:19 PM   #11
2000cs
Captain
3444
Rep
1,004
Posts

Drives: Potato
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA

iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
There once was a man from Nantucket








Who was fetching some water in a bucket
He slipped on the grass
And fell on his ass
Spilled the water and yelled aw fuckit

Or did you have something else in mind?
Appreciate 1
MKSixer34171.50
      10-23-2019, 05:10 AM   #12
vreihen16
Recovering Perfectionist
vreihen16's Avatar
Ukraine
14882
Rep
938
Posts

Drives: 2015 BMW i3 BEV
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Orange County, NY

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Are you feeling too focused while driving?
Well, help from your dashboard’s arriving:
Watch the net in your car.
Yes, wherever you are
You can surf. Wish you luck with surviving.
__________________
2015 BMW i3 BEV, Giga World (Lodge interior), Tech/Driving Assist Packages, 30K miles
Appreciate 1
2000cs3443.50
      10-23-2019, 05:48 AM   #13
HFW003
Brigadier General
HFW003's Avatar
Australia
5665
Rep
3,222
Posts

Drives: 2024 M340i xdrive
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Newcastle, Australia

iTrader: (0)

There was a young lady of Harrow.
Who complained her c@#§ was too narrow,
For times without number
She would use a cucumber,
But could not accomplish a marrow.
Appreciate 1
2000cs3443.50
      10-23-2019, 09:38 AM   #14
silverseal99
Enlisted Member
32
Rep
41
Posts

Drives: 2011 335d 335d Sport
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
There was a young gal named Sally
who loved the occasional dally.
When she sat on the lap
of a well-endowed chap
she cried, "Gee, Dick, you're right up my alley!"
Appreciate 4
upstatedoc7555.50
MKSixer34171.50
2000cs3443.50
King Rudi13152.00
      10-23-2019, 11:20 AM   #15
Rmtt
Colonel
Rmtt's Avatar
United_States
8206
Rep
2,250
Posts

Drives: 2011 BMW 128i, 2008 LS3 C6
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: South Carolina

iTrader: (3)

There once was a man named O'doul
Who saw little red spots on his tool
His doctor...a cynic
Yelled get out of my clinic
And wipe off that lipstick you fool


There once was a lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks, or for pastries and cakes,
But lived upon penis au gratin."
__________________
Everybody has a gameplan....until they get punched in the mouth.
Appreciate 4
MKSixer34171.50
upstatedoc7555.50
2000cs3443.50
King Rudi13152.00
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:06 AM.




bmw
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST