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      04-16-2020, 08:11 AM   #1
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Dangerous friends? I was invited to a gathering despite the pandemic

I was invited to visit with good friends who live about an hour away for the weekend, and I entertained the idea. I thought a visit would be nice. They are a young couple with an 8 year old daughter that I adore.

I turned down an opportunity to join them at the Ritz Carlton in Santa Barbara last weekend because I thought it was a foolish thing to do - given the current madness.

I texted with the husband yesterday and he told me that they had also invited another couple from LA and a hair dresser friend who is still seeing clients.

In my opinion this is the exact 100% wrong thing to do during a pandemic and that a visit with people who seem to have such a cavalier attitude during a pandemic would be foolhardy.

Am I wrong?
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      04-16-2020, 08:14 AM   #2
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you're not wrong, stay home and scratch them off your friends list
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      04-16-2020, 08:17 AM   #3
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It's your opinion. There's 7+ bln more people in the world. With their opinions, values, agendas, etc.
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      04-16-2020, 08:24 AM   #4
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Thing is, friends are supposed to talk. That is, this should be brought up with them, not us. I think people are also too cavalier about dropping friends.
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      04-16-2020, 08:54 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smyles View Post
It's your opinion. There's 7+ bln more people in the world. With their opinions, values, agendas, etc.
Don't worry, soon it will be only 6+ bln if they all think the way your friends do.

Right and wrong are opinions, but fact is you would be greatly increasing your risk, and then the risk of spreading something - I'd say good call to stay home. I would, however, talk with them about it, rather than just dropping them as friends. They may not have thought it thru, and you could be doing them a favor. This is so new that we don't have well-developed social norms yet, and it is easy for people to distort their perspective and deny or disregard the danger. It is actually human nature to do this - we are primed to not think of ourselves as a danger to our family/friends. I'm hearing a dozen different versions of this every day - the 'what THEY do is crazy and I'm angry they are putting me at risk, but MY parties are just small groups that we know, so they are safe'. And don't get me started on how people disregard who/what their kids are in contact with (so far, EVERY daycare setting that I'm aware of being tested has turned out a nearly 100% infection rate - but just my personal experience with a small sample). Latest studies are finding that you are MOST communicable before you show any symptoms, so you can't 'tell if you are sick'.
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      04-16-2020, 09:07 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iminhell1 View Post
Thing is, friends are supposed to talk. That is, this should be brought up with them, not us. I think people are also too cavalier about dropping friends.
Whoa, whoa, whoa --- why have a difficult conversation with your "friends" when you can just ask completely random strangers on the internet their opinions in an attempt to validate your feelings?


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      04-16-2020, 09:14 AM   #7
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While not siding with either here, I do find it funny how righteous people are getting about people who are not respecting the pandemic.

Many who were probably alive and "of age" in 2009 when the H1N1 pandemic came through and were busy living their best lives. Most remember the name, but not much else about it. I was dating a ER provider at the time so I got a little more taste of it and she slept in another room from me and all that, but I didn't worry much about it either. Her and her nurse even went as "H1/N1" for Halloween that year.

Yes this is not the same, yada, yada. That is not the point. My point is why did we ignore than one like nothing was happening. Like did ZERO different yet this one people are wishing death on anyone that speaks to their neighbors. Written sarcastically of course......

I'm not wanting to debate the differences here - just why are people SO different about this one. Human actions fascinate me sometimes and I always wonder why.

If one year we tracked the yearly flu spread with red dots and deaths counts - do you think we would see this kind of reaction as well? I almost think we would, but I don't know?

It is fascinating to me. Like how TP became the one thing people horded. Would that have happened without the news/social media reporting it?

Sorry, rabbit holes caught me on the reg. When I talk to people one on one they seem to find the same things strange, yet as a whole we must be all doing it for it to get to this point. Don't worry - I'm not a tin foil hate Alex Jones guy....I just find human actions interesting.
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      04-16-2020, 09:31 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unluky View Post
While not siding with either here, I do find it funny how righteous people are getting about people who are not respecting the pandemic.

Many who were probably alive and "of age" in 2009 when the H1N1 pandemic came through and were busy living their best lives. Most remember the name, but not much else about it. I was dating a ER provider at the time so I got a little more taste of it and she slept in another room from me and all that, but I didn't worry much about it either. Her and her nurse even went as "H1/N1" for Halloween that year.

Yes this is not the same, yada, yada. That is not the point. My point is why did we ignore than one like nothing was happening. Like did ZERO different yet this one people are wishing death on anyone that speaks to their neighbors. Written sarcastically of course......

I'm not wanting to debate the differences here - just why are people SO different about this one. Human actions fascinate me sometimes and I always wonder why.

If one year we tracked the yearly flu spread with red dots and deaths counts - do you think we would see this kind of reaction as well? I almost think we would, but I don't know?

It is fascinating to me. Like how TP became the one thing people horded. Would that have happened without the news/social media reporting it?

Sorry, rabbit holes caught me on the reg. When I talk to people one on one they seem to find the same things strange, yet as a whole we must be all doing it for it to get to this point. Don't worry - I'm not a tin foil hate Alex Jones guy....I just find human actions interesting.
We are similar. I too like to analyze people's behaviour. Moreso, I like to use that to try to predict what they will do if I or someone else does X, Y or Z. I see similarities to life and chess.
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      04-16-2020, 09:32 AM   #9
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You cannot say that then say "what's the difference". The difference is clear as day, COVID-19 is CLEARLY far more infectious, you can see how quickly it spreads when it gets a foot hold anywhere.
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      04-16-2020, 09:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Sounds pizzagatey.
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      04-16-2020, 09:46 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iminhell1 View Post
Thing is, friends are supposed to talk. That is, this should be brought up with them, not us. I think people are also too cavalier about dropping friends.
Whoa! I’m not ‘dropping’ them as friends. I don’t know how you got there. I am just not visiting with them this weekend as I don’t share their care-free attitude about social distancing, etc. Think about it. This hair dresser saw maybe 10 clients in a week and how many people did these clients who are also ignoring the stay home orders come into contact with? Coming in contact with said hair dresser and anyone else he’s been in contact with means that I’d be exposing myself to hundreds if not thousands of unknown elements.

I have no intention of dropping my friends, but will distance myself from them until this madness ends.
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      04-16-2020, 09:47 AM   #12
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I wouldn't drop them or say they are bad friends, but they aren't really acting intelligently during this time.
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      04-16-2020, 09:49 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cotmfk View Post
Whoa, whoa, whoa --- why have a difficult conversation with your "friends" when you can just ask completely random strangers on the internet their opinions in an attempt to validate your feelings?


Not looking to validate my feelings through strangers, although I do appreciate your snark and sarcasm. Snarkasm? My intent was to see if the strangers I posited this scenario to shared my adherence to the stay at home orders. Orders. Not suggestions.
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      04-16-2020, 09:50 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
I wouldn't drop them or say they are bad friends, but they aren't really acting intelligently during this time.
Agreed. And I never had any intention of dropping them. But I will stay away from them until the madness ends.
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      04-16-2020, 09:52 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maynard View Post
Don't worry, soon it will be only 6+ bln if they all think the way your friends do.

Right and wrong are opinions, but fact is you would be greatly increasing your risk, and then the risk of spreading something - I'd say good call to stay home. I would, however, talk with them about it, rather than just dropping them as friends. They may not have thought it thru, and you could be doing them a favor. This is so new that we don't have well-developed social norms yet, and it is easy for people to distort their perspective and deny or disregard the danger. It is actually human nature to do this - we are primed to not think of ourselves as a danger to our family/friends. I'm hearing a dozen different versions of this every day - the 'what THEY do is crazy and I'm angry they are putting me at risk, but MY parties are just small groups that we know, so they are safe'. And don't get me started on how people disregard who/what their kids are in contact with (so far, EVERY daycare setting that I'm aware of being tested has turned out a nearly 100% infection rate - but just my personal experience with a small sample). Latest studies are finding that you are MOST communicable before you show any symptoms, so you can't 'tell if you are sick'.
You raise some excellent points! I will have a conversation with them. It never crossed my mind to drop them as friends, but I have no intention of seeing them until this madness ends.
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      04-16-2020, 09:53 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iminhell1 View Post
Thing is, friends are supposed to talk. That is, this should be brought up with them, not us. I think people are also too cavalier about dropping friends.
I never implied that I was dropping them.
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      04-16-2020, 09:54 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
you're not wrong, stay home and scratch them off your friends list
I agree that I should stay at home, but I won’t be scratching them off of my friends list, just avoiding them until this craziness ends.
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      04-16-2020, 09:54 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unluky View Post
While not siding with either here, I do find it funny how righteous people are getting about people who are not respecting the pandemic.

Many who were probably alive and "of age" in 2009 when the H1N1 pandemic came through and were busy living their best lives. Most remember the name, but not much else about it. I was dating a ER provider at the time so I got a little more taste of it and she slept in another room from me and all that, but I didn't worry much about it either. Her and her nurse even went as "H1/N1" for Halloween that year.

Yes this is not the same, yada, yada. That is not the point. My point is why did we ignore than one like nothing was happening. Like did ZERO different yet this one people are wishing death on anyone that speaks to their neighbors. Written sarcastically of course......

I'm not wanting to debate the differences here - just why are people SO different about this one. Human actions fascinate me sometimes and I always wonder why.

If one year we tracked the yearly flu spread with red dots and deaths counts - do you think we would see this kind of reaction as well? I almost think we would, but I don't know?

It is fascinating to me. Like how TP became the one thing people horded. Would that have happened without the news/social media reporting it?

Sorry, rabbit holes caught me on the reg. When I talk to people one on one they seem to find the same things strange, yet as a whole we must be all doing it for it to get to this point. Don't worry - I'm not a tin foil hate Alex Jones guy....I just find human actions interesting.
Careful man. I picked up some Mexican to go food and some beer from a local brewery and had dinner with my neighbors. We ate outside on a deck, and then had some beers around a fit pit. 5 of us(which is legal in my state) and we kept out distance, brought our own coolers, didnt lick each other, and those that wanted to, used hand sanitizer. I made a post on facebook about supporting local restaurants and businesses and the social distance warriors blew me up.

Edit:this was before Georgia listed the mandatory shelter in place and banned meeting at peoples homes.

Last edited by MPOWER5266; 04-16-2020 at 10:19 AM..
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      04-16-2020, 09:57 AM   #19
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your friends sound pretty fucking selfish.
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      04-16-2020, 10:20 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPOWER5266 View Post
social distance warriors


Wonder how soon they start fighting each other, if not already.
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      04-16-2020, 10:24 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smyles View Post


Wonder how soon they start fighting each other, if not already.
Since this has started I have been inside 7 buildings. Work, my house, my dads shop, a gas station, Bj's (Costco type store), Kroger, and Publix. Kroger twice, Publix once, and BJ's twice, every thing else has been to go/curbside. Besides the mail,ups, and amazon I havent had anything delivered. The people blowing me up and calling me irresponsible are also going to hardware stores and grocery stores several times a week, but its cool they have 1/16" of cloth over their face.
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      04-16-2020, 10:33 AM   #22
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Unless you were planning a hookup with hairdresser friend, don't go.

Would be foolish.

Just meet her separately to limit exposure.
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