[aliiin]

What's the best dating app these days? Give me some recommendations so I can go swiping and get more wtf dating stories

[IllSic_Design]

Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Tinder of course

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

And how firm do you stand? Like wet cement? Silly Putty? Cream cheese? Jell-O? Oatmeal porridge? Noodle al dente?......

In my twenties when I got a boner, I could barely put a kink in it. In my 40s I could sometimes bend it 90deg. Now I'm in my 60s I can nearly fold it in half. I must be getting really strong!

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Dang3r

Ever had a women with 3 or more naturally born kids? Take off your shoes and hop in. Thats maybe a reason why many women decide to get the Caesarean section?

No; urban myth.

Opinion; I have never encountered a lady who I'd say was 'too loose'. I have definitely encountered 'too tight'. For perspective I'd describe my endowment as average.

I think part of this stems from the biased standpoint that promiscuous men are 'dudes/legends', and promiscuous ladies are 'sluts', which is just totally dumb.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

And how firm do you stand? Like wet cement? Silly Putty? Cream cheese? Jell-O? Oatmeal porridge? Noodle al dente?......

No.....none of these. More like rope.

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

No; urban myth.

Opinion; I have never encountered a lady who I'd say was 'too loose'. I have definitely encountered 'too tight'. For perspective I'd describe my endowment as average.

I think part of this stems from the biased standpoint that promiscuous men are 'dudes/legends', and promiscuous ladies are 'sluts', which is just totally dumb.

Well stated on the endowment. I started to touch on this as well, but as you can see from the post above, I felt like leaving it out was the best move. People that tend to make comments about their package are usually all talk. I also like to not draw attention to my really small issues.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Well stated on the endowment. I started to touch on this as well, but as you can see from the post above, I felt like leaving it out was the best move. People that tend to make comments about their package are usually all talk. I also like to not draw attention to my really small issues.

Oh I liked pretty much everything about this paragraph - well done!

[Fast.F10]

Anyone ever try the "walk out" in the middle of actions? Was at my girlfriends house (parents gone), mid_stroke got up got dressed and just left the house w/o saying anything. Was not the best thing to do in hindsight. Took a few days of ass kissing to smooth things over. To this day (30yrs later), she still brings it up from time to time when we chat bahaha. #TeenAgersDoStupidThings

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Fast.F10

Anyone ever try the "walk out" in the middle of actions? Was at my girlfriends house (parents gone), mid_stroke got up got dressed and just left the house w/o saying anything. Was not the best thing to do in hindsight. Took a few days of ass kissing to smooth things over. To this day (30yrs later), she still brings it up from time to time when we chat bahaha. #TeenAgersDoStupidThings

WTF, did you hear a 5.0 Mustang out front or something????

[Fast.F10]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

WTF, did you hear a 5.0 Mustang out front or something????

Oddly enough, her parent had a white/blk top 5.0 convertible.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

You know I was just teasing. I guess you don't want to marry me anymore...

I know you were teasing. I'll take it. I'm pretty sensitive about my rope though.

Originally Posted by Fast.F10

Anyone ever try the "walk out" in the middle of actions? Was at my girlfriends house (parents gone), mid_stroke got up got dressed and just left the house w/o saying anything. Was not the best thing to do in hindsight. Took a few days of ass kissing to smooth things over. To this day (30yrs later), she still brings it up from time to time when we chat bahaha. #TeenAgersDoStupidThings

Curious. I've done some pretty comical things during the act. I will say that I have never just walked out during. What was the reasoning behind your actions? How could you expect her not to get up and walk out? I had this happen to me once. We were both naked, she was getting pleased, then when it came my turn, she left. It didn't end well for her either.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

WTF, did you hear a 5.0 Mustang out front or something????

I'm confused by this. Explain yourself Wede.

[ramman434]

Originally Posted by Fast.F10

Anyone ever try the "walk out" in the middle of actions? Was at my girlfriends house (parents gone), mid_stroke got up got dressed and just left the house w/o saying anything. Was not the best thing to do in hindsight. Took a few days of ass kissing to smooth things over. To this day (30yrs later), she still brings it up from time to time when we chat bahaha. #TeenAgersDoStupidThings

Been close to this situation. Was in the living room fingerb**ging the college gf (parents gone mid-morning), and all of a sudden grandma comes up the backporch (everyone always used the front door) and tries to come in through the locked full glass doors. Thank god they had blinds halfway down them. A real "shocker", if you know what I'm sayin

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Sara504

No putting out on the first date. Don't take her out again if she offers the goods that easily. You'll just be a hotdog in a hallway.

Eh, if she puts out on the first date that's instant low hanging fruit. I won't say no to hallway that comes easy but I'm not going to enjoy it as much, either

Originally Posted by King Rudi

My comment was only a joke, but this is wildly inaccurate. Most all women say this. Most all women end up offering at least part of the goods on the first date. Most all women say, "I never do this on a first date." Almost 30 years of experience in this area. There have been some that I have dated for long periods of time, there was two that I married and then there were some that I called the next day because it was in my best interest to......then there were many who left directly after that I never saw or spoke to again.

Also, the hotdog in a hallway comment....inaccurate as well. In my experiences, these women do exist, but these conditions were not created by excessive use of that area; more so born this way.

all of this post is nothing but the truth

tldr: women are weird. can't live with them, can't live without them

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

all of this post is nothing but the truth

tldr: women are weird. can't live with them, can't live without them

Further discussion on this. Women tell other women not to sleep with a guy on the first date. They do it anyway. Women tell men not to date women who sleep with a guy on the first date. We do it anyway. Guess who else sleeps with men on the first date? The women who tell other women not to sleep with guys on the first date.

Also, let's ponder this scenario. Perhaps a couple go out on a first date, but they have known each other for years and the tension is obvious? Does a person turn it down on account that it's a first date, or go for it because of the tension/history?

[Fast.F10]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Curious. I've done some pretty comical things during the act. I will say that I have never just walked out during. What was the reasoning behind your actions? How could you expect her not to get up and walk out? I had this happen to me once. We were both naked, she was getting pleased, then when it came my turn, she left. It didn't end well for her either.

I got up and walked out...not her, she was left on her bed. Later on, she told me she thought I was just going to the bathroom and would return. My mind set back then was that I was king (fool/childish I know) and I wanted to test my powers. Needless to say I wasn't invited "in" for a bit of time. Fast forward a few years, she cheated on me while I was in recovery from all wisdom teeth being pulled out while she was away on a camping trip "with her family". Smelt a rat real fast and her mom was a great source for my investigate work. And then ultimately on my last trip to visit her while she was away at school, she broke up with me...via a greeting card. I guess she was kind enough to let me hit it one last time while on that same visit .

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Fast.F10

I got up and walked out...not her, she was left on her bed. Later on, she told me she thought I was just going to the bathroom and would return. My mind set back then was that I was king (fool/childish I know) and I wanted to test my powers. Needless to say I wasn't invited "in" for a bit of time. Fast forward a few years, she cheated on me while I was in recovery from all wisdom teeth being pulled out while she was away on a camping trip "with her family". Smelt a rat real fast and her mom was a great source for my investigate work. And then ultimately on my last trip to visit her while she was away at school, she broke up with me...via a greeting card. I guess she was kind enough to let me hit it one last time while on that same visit .

My bad. I meant to type "How could you expect her not to get upset after you walked out?"

Craziness man. I plan to hang on to the greeting card break up. Definitely going to use this at some point in my life. Maybe on a get well soon card or a birthday card. Good shit.

[Fast.F10]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

My bad. I meant to type "How could you expect her not to get upset after you walked out?"

Craziness man. I plan to hang on to the greeting card break up. Definitely going to use this at some point in my life. Maybe on a get well soon card or a birthday card. Good shit.

Now you can just sent it via a text and save $7.00 on a card lol. That was one long ass 2hour drive home I will say. But it did allow me to clear my head and do some soul searching. But wait there's more...fast forward a few more years and she asks me to come up and visit her at school (we've always remained friends...to this day), so I bring a friend with me for her room mate to also hang with...no 3rd wheel. Long story short...my friend passes out (drank too much too fast to impress her friend) in the living room and me and my ex with her room mate had our own "fun" in the other room. #NeverBurnBridges

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Fast.F10

Now you can just sent it via a text and save $7.00 on a card lol. That was one long ass 2hour drive home I will say. But it did allow me to clear my head and do some soul searching. But wait there's more...fast forward a few more years and she asks me to come up and visit her at school (we've always remained friends...to this day), so I bring a friend with me for her room mate to also hang with...no 3rd wheel. Long story short...my friend passes out (drank too much too fast to impress her friend) in the living room and me and my ex with her room mate had our own "fun" in the other room. #NeverBurnBridges

I'd pay $20 for the card. If I get that cynical in a break up, it isn't about saving money; it's about the coup de grace.

That's a fantastic story! Well done sir. Dating points awarded. Legend status.

[NoMoreVauxhalls]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

LOL - I love this gif!

[Mosaud1998]

Idek wth I am doing or reading in this forum (or whatever it's referred has) but it is pretty entertaining

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

We aim to please...


Attachment 2538554

That gif belongs firmly in the deal-breakers/turn-offs thread!

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Further discussion on this. Women tell other women not to sleep with a guy on the first date. They do it anyway. Women tell men not to date women who sleep with a guy on the first date. We do it anyway. Guess who else sleeps with men on the first date? The women who tell other women not to sleep with guys on the first date.

Also, let's ponder this scenario. Perhaps a couple go out on a first date, but they have known each other for years and the tension is obvious? Does a person turn it down on account that it's a first date, or go for it because of the tension/history?

I think it's simple - I like seeing where things go. I will admit if someone sleeps with me on the first date she's got a lot more to make up for to be relationship material to me. Have I slept with people on the first date? Absolutely, and no regrets. Was I probably labeled a man whore by some women? Not to my face, but I can see how that might have happened

[M5Rick]

It's all in the touch and look, you have to take control. It's actually easier the more prettier they are,if you hang back too much playing it too cool then you've lost anyway.
It is better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all.