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      10-22-2020, 10:42 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by spazzyfry123 View Post
I think this is the best approach as it is only going to get worse if you are dumb enough to put a ring on it. Cut your losses and find someone else to pork.
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      10-22-2020, 11:56 PM   #68
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Get her a bus pass
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      10-23-2020, 01:18 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by DocL View Post
My wife hates the car I drive and hates the way I drive. Too fucking bad. The more she complains in the car, the later and harder I brake, and the faster I take turns. When she really gets going I turn off traction control. She even got so scared once that she believed my NSX was going to flip over. The next turn settled that fear pretty quickly. When we get home, I ask if she got hurt. Her answer was "no".

I also made a rule that she she can't blurt out "watch out" when there is a car 1/4mi up the road turning across. Dickhead, I already saw that five seconds before you did. Women can become so irrational when they are passengers in a car.
Maybe you should start a " what leads up to divorce thread" It may have helped me
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      10-23-2020, 06:22 AM   #70
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Originally Posted by D_o_S View Post
At the end of the journey, her friend said "what a wonderful driver I am"...
Did he/she love him/her self or disregard your driving that much? Or is it just your punctuation?

Back to the point, here's how to drive a BMW (and have your chick appreciate that): "Brush your boobies!".
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      10-23-2020, 07:12 AM   #71
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So, I'm waiting for my home office to stop barfing on the new 'upgrades' and amusing myself with this; my thoughts:

1-asking for relationship advice on the OTDB means you are either hopelessly doomed, or just needing another round of self-abuse. Buy a magic 8-ball for better results.

2-regardless of the topic, issues where one of you is making the other uncomfortable benefit from serious talk (unless it is a blunder or s/t you'd readily change); when it is bothering both of you this becomes essential. Just avoiding the situation only reinforces the tension on the relationship.

3-driving is unquestionably the most dangerous activity most people engage in, and you really need to reserve your 'I'm a super driver' rap for when you are alone in the car. That 'are you dead? how many accidents do I have' reasoning works just as well for Russian Roulette. If you are making passengers uncomfortable, then that is a form of failed driving skill in routine commuting (not that I don't sometimes take this 'fail', but I don't try to dress it up as really being better). I try to use my commutes to work on modal skills, rather than than FTD. Any clod can brake hard on the street, but can you bring the car to a smooth imperceptible stop? and can you do it by gauging and applying a steady brake pressure, without needing to modulate? Try taking turns this way too - smooth steady input to a stable point that will hold a good line all thru the turn. Or placing your wheels exactly where you intend using all those pavement wrinkles and patch spots as targets.

4-careful about inviting her to a driving school if your ego is as fragile as it appears. There are many great stories among instructors of guys who bring the little lady out to impress her, but end up with her outdoing them in terms of skill and speed. That crap about your superior male 'spatial ability' is reductionistic nonsense; There isn't that much difference, and driving (especially on the street) is much more about tactics than skills anyway (that's why young adults are MOST risky, and older adults are LEAST risky, despite all the physio traits favoring the young).

And I think that link should read "brace your boobies"
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      10-23-2020, 12:58 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maynard View Post
So, I'm waiting for my home office to stop barfing on the new 'upgrades' and amusing myself with this; my thoughts:

1-asking for relationship advice on the OTDB means you are either hopelessly doomed, or just needing another round of self-abuse. Buy a magic 8-ball for better results.

2-regardless of the topic, issues where one of you is making the other uncomfortable benefit from serious talk (unless it is a blunder or s/t you'd readily change); when it is bothering both of you this becomes essential. Just avoiding the situation only reinforces the tension on the relationship.

3-driving is unquestionably the most dangerous activity most people engage in, and you really need to reserve your 'I'm a super driver' rap for when you are alone in the car. That 'are you dead? how many accidents do I have' reasoning works just as well for Russian Roulette. If you are making passengers uncomfortable, then that is a form of failed driving skill in routine commuting (not that I don't sometimes take this 'fail', but I don't try to dress it up as really being better). I try to use my commutes to work on modal skills, rather than than FTD. Any clod can brake hard on the street, but can you bring the car to a smooth imperceptible stop? and can you do it by gauging and applying a steady brake pressure, without needing to modulate? Try taking turns this way too - smooth steady input to a stable point that will hold a good line all thru the turn. Or placing your wheels exactly where you intend using all those pavement wrinkles and patch spots as targets.

4-careful about inviting her to a driving school if your ego is as fragile as it appears. There are many great stories among instructors of guys who bring the little lady out to impress her, but end up with her outdoing them in terms of skill and speed. That crap about your superior male 'spatial ability' is reductionistic nonsense; There isn't that much difference, and driving (especially on the street) is much more about tactics than skills anyway (that's why young adults are MOST risky, and older adults are LEAST risky, despite all the physio traits favoring the young).

And I think that link should read "brace your boobies"
Shit. You forgot the mic drop and the un-phased walk-away with explosions occurring behind you. Verbal equivalent of scorched earth represented here. Well done.
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      10-23-2020, 01:36 PM   #73
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He went in hard didn't he.
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      10-23-2020, 01:43 PM   #74
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You want to get more serious with her, but can't have an honest discussion about your driving? That's a bad sign.
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      10-23-2020, 01:46 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
He went in hard didn't he.
Dry too, methinks.
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      10-23-2020, 07:27 PM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Maybe you should start a " what leads up to divorce thread" It may have helped me
Already divorced once before. Been married now for 10yrs. I learned to set boundaries early on. It works, but it’s hard.
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      10-23-2020, 11:27 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maynard View Post
And I think that link should read "brace your boobies"
This makes more sense! I didn't make it out, so used the subtitles.
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